


In The Confines of Fear

by BarefootJourney



Category: Star Trek: Picard, Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: F/F, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-05
Updated: 2020-03-05
Packaged: 2021-02-28 19:47:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 646
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23022724
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BarefootJourney/pseuds/BarefootJourney
Summary: But some nights, it was the only way her soul could find peace....in pretending that it existed.
Relationships: Kathryn Janeway/Seven of Nine
Comments: 5
Kudos: 28





	In The Confines of Fear

**Author's Note:**

> This is set after Picard 1x05. I do have a story leading up to this point (Something Empty), but need to tackle some gnarly plot holes, so I figured I'd give this a shot as a little stand-alone piece. Seven and Janeway do have a rift between them, as they haven't spoken in 15 years, but this bridges that gap a bit. (Also, I should mention that my head canon has Seven as Ace, but rest assured that endgame is to always end up with Janeway, so my stories will have plenty of fluffy and angsty snuggly homoromantic they're-totally-married goodness, but if you're looking for an erotic adventure, uh... it's not here. Sorry? )

The exam itself was non invasive.  
The same couldn't be said about the Doctor's questions. 

"So, Seven, what have you been up to in the last couple decades? How are your interpersonal relationships? Have you taken my lessons to heart? How are things in the department of romance?"

Seven answered, knowing what he was really curious about.

"I thought I was experiencing arousal. Accelerated heart rate, release of hormones, increased body temperature, heightened sensitivity to touch, sound... 

I have since discovered that fear and arousal have similar biochemical reactions. ... And I don't enjoy either one." 

"Perhaps your cortical --"  
"No." She cut him off and strode out of sick bay, hearing him mutter something about her social etiquette.

Seven thought back to Bjayzl... she was aroused, but it was not a satisfying or pleasant task. She forced herself to go along with it, to absorb the sensations, allow her body to respond. It was better than Chakotay, but still left her feeling repulsed by the actions, and also bored, as if she were wasting time.  
It seemed pointless... an end that she could meet by her own hands with less mess and social interaction.  
And every single time, it left her with the desire to seek out the comfort of her former captain and cleanse herself of the disgust and shame and stress. 

In her own quarters, she laid among the blankets and pillows, arranging them to offer her imagination some form of escape to grasp at, to pull in the sensations and arrange them in her mind as if Janeway were truly there, allowing Seven to curl up beside her. 

Pathetic.  
She would tell herself, knowing how childish that endeavour was. 

But some nights, it was the only way her soul could find peace....in pretending that it existed. 

She stroked her own arm, flicked her own thumb back and forth over her ocular implant, sinking further into the fantasy that didn't play by reality's bleak rules. 

And now here, with her captain just on the other side of the wall, she couldn't bring herself to ask for the real version of what her mind created out of desperation.... 

***  
The nightmares began their assault.  
A tidal wave of suffocating toxic sludge crashed over her. 

She battled, knowing it was useless. 

Her usual tactics failed faster than expected. She was surrounded, overpowered, and nowhere left to escape or hide. 

Nowhere except... 

The door that led to the captain's quarters seemed impossibly far away. 

It would mean surrendering, admitting defeat. 

But it beckoned to her sweetly. Reprieve lay just through that threshold.  
Reprieve, or perhaps... rejection. 

Either one could be her undoing.  
** 

In a slow blink, she found herself standing just before the sensor that would open the gateway to her salvation. Or destruction.  
Behind her, the demons of the past crept closer, converging upon her, casting an ominous shadow that giggled with delight at dragging her back to her own personal hell.

A small hitching breath, and she pushed forward. 

*** 

The hiss of the door didn't startle Janeway, but it did pull her from wherever her rogue thoughts had whisked her away to. 

With downcast eyes and trepidatious swaying, Seven stood just inside her room. 

Her mouth moved, but sound couldn't bypass the noose of tension clearly visible around the ex Borg's neck. 

"Captain".... she was trying to say. 

Janeway launched onto her feet and scrambled around the bed to Seven. 

She lightly grasped the younger woman's hands, one in each of her own, and guided her into the room, allowing the door to finally close. 

"Alright, alright, come on. Come here." 

The tremors began. A violent reverberation of everything that haunted Seven incessantly spasmed through her.

"I've got you." 

And that was the end of Seven's fight.  
She laid down her weapons and the relief of being unburdened was so welcome that it was almost painful.


End file.
